Tainted Lies
by SummazStar
Summary: Since Jesse has vanished, Suze is trying, to no avail, to forget about Jesse and continue with her normal teenage life. Lonely and rejected, Suze turns to the only other person who has ever paid any attention to her, Paul.
1. Painful memories I

**I wanted to make a fanfic about Mediator for a long time but I didn't really have a plot but now I do! Um, this is set when Jesse isn't alive or anything. This whole chapter is going to be a memory and it's gonna be in _italics._ Ok? Enjoy!**

**Oh wait. Btw the memories are made up, by me. Get it? Ok, continue with the story!**

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_The fog rolled in and licked at the graveyard tombs and tombstones as the early morning sun rose from the west. The graveyard was dead silent and no animals a noise not even the two people holding each other, like they would never let go, in the middle of the graveyard. _

_I tried to make myself sink into Jesse like I was some kind of substance. His strong and calloused hands wrapped around me as I tried to gather in the warmth. But it was no use. Ghosts simply didn't have any warmth. Not after they died. _

_I pressed myself into him tighter closing off the remaining air In between Jesse and me. My coat flapped about soundlessly as I tried to shallow my breathing and silence my shivers to stop Jesse from noticing my state of frozenness. _

_But my bad luck caught up with me when he realised I was shivering and there wasn't a thing he could do about it. He shook his head with disappointment, seemingly at himself. Jesse loosened his strong hold and I stung with disappointment and loss. I felt like I was physically losing someone even though Jesse wasn't gone, he just let go for a little bit. Or I hoped so. It wasn't like we could stay like that forever, right?_

"_I'm sorry," he said with a touch of sorrow in his voice. "I'm sorry I can't provide for you like others." By others he must have meant other teenage boys, like Paul, for instance. _

_I felt like I would immediately burst into tears but I said, for Jesse's sake, "Jesse, its not your fault. You can't help but be dead and I can't help but fall in love with you."_

_With that he held me tighter, almost so I couldn't breathe. Almost. I breathed in his familiar scent and longed for him to be alive. To be able to go out on normal dates with him. For him to meet my parents and my parents to meet him. To go to school like a normal teenager. It was so unfair. _

"_Jesse?" I said, "Can you do something for me? Can you promise to never leave me?" I asked him, my voice tainted with grief and profanity. Even though there were slim chances of this ever happening, I wanted to hear it from him. My Jesse._

_With a most sincere smile he leaned down and kissed me for what seemed like seconds before cupping my face in his hands and saying, "I promise."_

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**So that's it! I hope you liked it. Please review. Btw that was a memory and my whole story is not going to just be memories. Just my first two chapters are going to memories. So keep reading!**

**Please review and read some of my other stories!**


	2. Painful memories II

It took me a long time to write this chapter and I am so sorry! I hoped you enjoyed the last chapter. Personally, I thought it was sweet but whatever. Thanks for the reviews!

**La fonda: You'll just have to find out:)**

**Tangopepperoni: Thanks so much!**

**Querida1607****: Well, you could call it a flashback back but I prefer to call it a memory. No difference.**

**This chapter is dedicated to _Querida1607_. And remember this is a memory too! Review!**

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"Well, Jesse, what do you think?" I asked as twirled in front of the mirror, my dress bouncing around nicely. It was that time of the year again. Prom. The time, if Jesse wasn't here, I'd be positively dreading. But he was, so what was the use of dwelling?

When I told my mum that someone would be taking me to the senior prom she was thrilled. The very next day she took me to every shop there was in town to find the 'perfect' dress. I guess she was just excited that I finally got myself a date. Needless to say my date was hardly alive. But, hey, there was no need to tell, was there?

No matter what store I went to I couldn't find the perfect dress. Every dress I looked at was too showy, too frilly, too big, too pink, too ruffly or too ugly. Nothing seemed to fit. Well, until I came to a little shop just outside of town where I found the perfect dress. It was baby blue with satin straps. The whole dress was made of silk and velvet and shone with sparkly beads that matched. **(A/N- I've never been to a prom and I'm not good with dresses so bear with me.)**

I beamed and turned to look at Jesse. He had his head in a little book and his back turned to me. It seemed like he hadn't heard me.

"Jesse?" I said still admiring the way the beads bounced off the ceiling light making them sparkle so remarkably.

A minute went by and there was still no reply from Jesse and, call me spoilt but I wanted all the compliments I could get from him.

"Jesse?" I said again, impatience starting to creep into my voice.

His head lifted and his eyes immediately began to roam over my body, taking in my dress and how nice I looked in it.

A huge grin crept onto his face and he stood up and walked towards me. "You look amazing," he said almost breathlessly. Holding me at arms length and surveying me again, I started to feel a little self-conscious.

"Thanks," I replied shyly but inside I was whooping for joy.

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I could hardly sit still as Mr Walden; the history teacher, gave out the final tests. No, it wasn't the tests that had me squirming in my seat; actually, it was the prom. And you're probably wondering why, I, Suzanne Simon was excited about the prom. I mean, it was the prom. The one night that gave you an excuse to run off with your date and do things that your parents would never find out about. Yeah, that's prom. But I couldn't help being excited. After all, I was going with Jesse.

"Miss Simon," Mr Walden said interrupting my thoughts, "Just how do you explain this?" He thrusted the paper at me and immediately saw what was making him so tense. It looked like a bad mark. Again.

"Um..." I said, in attempt to find a quick excuse. "I was busy think about prom?" I thought, not realising that I had said that aloud.

Mr Walden's face turned murderous and I realised I was in trouble. But before Mr Walden or I could say anything, the bell rang. I was, literally, saved by the bell.

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The car stalled as I pushed on the pedal for the millionth time.

"Come on!" I screamed in frustration. Kicking the inside of the car, I heard another car pull up beside me. As I looked in my review mirror, it told me that the fancy BMW belonged to none other then Mr Paul Slater. I cringed in my seat as he got out of his car and headed towards my piece of junk.

"Having a little car trouble?" he said with one of those smirks that I really, really hate.

Trying to resist from tearing him apart, I replied, "It's more then a little, Paul. I have major car trouble,"

He grinned again. "I'll check the engine,"

A few minutes went by as I tapped the steering wheel, clearly annoyed that Paul Slater, of all people, had to come to my rescue. The roar of the engine told me my car was fixed and who did I owe that to? Oh, just Paul Slater, my arch nemesis.

"There we are," he said jerkily.

Noticing the glint of my beautiful prom dress in the back seat, he inquired, "So, you're going to prom?"

"Yes," I replied, which I admit, a little smugly.

He kept smiling though, "Oh? And with whom?" Boy, did I feel like punching him just to get that smirk off his face.

"_Jesse_," I said, searching his face for any sign of reaction. And I found it. The smile was wiped cleanly off his face. Yes, I thought with satisfaction.

"Right," he said curtly, "I guess I'll see you there then,"

A good feeling had crept into my stomach at this point, "I guess so,"

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"I'm home!" I yelled into the house as I arrived home. No-one could kill my mood now, I was up in the clouds.

Walking into the kitchen, I saw my mum with an apron around her waist and a less-than-perfect cake on the table. Did she actually try to bake a cake? This was a first.

"You…baked a cake?" I asked cautiously. Really cautiously.

"Yep, want to taste?" she answered, unaware of my state of shock.

_Not really_. "Sure," I have to admit, I was curious.

I took a deep breath before going in for the kill. I might sound like I'm over reacting but believe me, I'm not. That awful beef casserole and that bland strawberry sundae haunted me constantly. My mother wasn't a cook, she was a business woman.

That's why I was so surprised when I finished swallowing a piece. It tasted almost…normal. Like, cake. And yeah, it wasn't great. But this surely was the best thing that my mum had ever made. This was definitely a first.

"It's…really good,"

"Really? You're not lying, are you?" she asked, almost anxiously.

"I wouldn't lie to you, mum," I said flashing her a smile. "I'm gonna take this piece of cake to my room,"

Climbing the stairs, two steps at a time, I ran into Jesse in my bedroom. He looked like he was in a rush. Looking hot, as usual, he had a troubled expression on his face.

"Whoa, tiger, what's up?"

Looking surprised, he replied,"I've got to…meet someone,"

There was something suspicious in his eyes and what did he mean, meet someone? Who?

"But...but…the prom," Apparently, that's all I could think about.

He smiled and cupped my face with his hands, "Don't worry about it. I promise I'll be back in time,"

I shouldn't have let him go. I should've known. All the suspicious behaviour and that guarded expression.

But instead I said, "Ok,"

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I was beginning to get worried. It was nearly 8, we were already late but Jesse still hadn't shown up. I got up and down and paced around the house for the one hundredth time. I didn't understand what was happening. I mean, Jesse promised me that he'd be back in time. But he wasn't! Anger, worry and plain confusion clouded me as I waited and waited. 9:30 had come and Jesse still hadn't turned up.

Stomping up the stairs and slamming the door I lay on my bed and started to cry. So what if the prom hadn't finished? I knew, somehow, in my heart that Jesse wasn't going to show up. Not now. I tried to stay positive and optimistic throughout the whole evening but now it was just too much.

Tears trailed down my face and dropped onto my dress as I threw my pillows against my bedroom the walls. My dress was crinkled and by chances, absolutely ruined but I didn't care. Not any more. My perfect night was ruined and by the person I loved more then anyone else in the world.

At one point my mother came into my room and held me while I cried and cried unable to stop.

"I'm sorry honey, but it's going to be ok," she whispered in my ear. But it wasn't, she just didn't understand. Not when it came to Jesse.

"The guy was a jerk, but the next prom you'll go with someone special," she went on. But there was no one like Jesse, even if I felt like killing him now. My mum thought my heart was broken because I didn't get to go to my first prom. But it wasn't that, it was much deeper. Jesse had broken a promise.

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**Yes, I know, poor Suz. So did you like it? Review, please! Anyway, yeah, the chapter was short but I wanted it to be AND because I was too lazy to write a longer chapter. Besides the other chapters will be nice and long. Hehe, ok, so what's up? What are you still doing here? REVIEW!**

**Psst! Check out my profile page! **


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